I’ve recently come to the conclusion that every single mixed CD I’ve made for a significant other has resulted in us breaking up. No, seriously. Check out this track record (no pun intended):

P.S. You Hate Me

Relationship #1:
Length: 3 years
CD made: November
Breakup: December

Relationship #2:
Length: 1 year
CD made: April
Never saw him again after: June

Relationship #3:
Length: A few months
CD made: October
Breakup: December.

I was even naïve enough to think it would be romantic to give my current boyfriend of 5 years a (two-disc!) mixed-CD for our anniversary. Not surprisingly, we suffered a major set back just weeks later. Although we didn’t break up, it’s really made me question the integrity of such a gift.

What is it about these CDs that are ruining my relationships? Are my tunes too sappy? Am I freaking boys out with melodies that promise happily ever-after? Have mixed CDs become such a thing of the past I’m being dumped for being so outdated? Are CD-R’s all made by Satan?!?! What could it beeee?

Perhaps a more logical explanation might be there’s something inside of me that senses the impending doom. I go all in, illegally download 15 slow-jams, and present them to my guy with a big fat bow and an invisible tag reading, “Please love me!”

Naw…that can’t be right. I’m sticking with Satan.